first day of school 2014.

the last time that i took official FDOS photos of reese was 2012. she was starting the 2's class mdo. she had a pink sparkly backpack, an adorable lunch box, and a huge giggly grin. she would go on and off for a month, being sent home for random vomiting. the entire month of october, basically, she would miss. then i went up to the school and said that i was probably going to withdraw her til the next january bc i just didnt feel as if things were okay.

then that photo would be the photo. it was the face of reese and her fight. it was her #gingerfight photo. it was on headers and pray chains and shared by hundreds of people. her last FDOS photo, before monday, was the "before". it exemplified the happy little box of normalcy that i thought we lived in.



so if that was the before, then this is the after.

at least right now. and i'll take it.

aidan is now in 2nd grade and sawyer in 1st. to have a second grader seems very old. she has a planner in her school binder - something big kids have. aidan and sawyer take the bus home. they dont need me to wait at the bus stop, but i do. i told them 100 times "make sure your sister is always on the bus or don't let it leave!!"

monday was hard to organize. i had to get reese to school the same time as A and S. and while EJ could have done the big girls, aidan protested "but you always take us the first day..." and so i did.

but first we took photos. of course.



foxy obviously was going, too. reese's laylee was in her backpack and then foxy by her side.




and off to school we went.



i wrote on facebook a bit about that last photo - i was focusing on reese. i wanted to get her reaction to leaving her sisters, but instead i got so much more. aidan, my sweet big girl, so sad to leave reese. what a treat to find on my card.

we said goodbye and headed to reese's school. and got a warm welcome from friends.



...and then she waved goodbye and was at school til 2pm ::faint:: (MWF she is full day. T/Th she is half).

to think that next year she will be going to kindergarten makes my heart skip a beat.

next week, miller starts mdo - and then for 2 days a week, itll just be me and corbin.

no one knows what the future will bring. but, then again, i didnt know what the future was going to bring in 2012 and still lived life day to day.

scans are coming soon. mid september. im caught between anxious and confident - like always.

i hope this is the lull. i hope this is down the mountain to a happy plateau. i hope that this is where we embrace our new normal. a better normal, because we have lived the worst.

FDOS 2013 - Aidan and Sawyer

1st grade and Kindergarten.

whoa.

I don't really understand when this happened. i see my kids at certain ages - aidan will always be 5 to me. sawyer 3. they don't act that age - its just what i want to say when people ask. maybe its my favorite ages? it will obviously change as they grow up... but this?! THIS is old. two kids in elem is big time, guys.

I took a few pics of sawyer (some while waiting for my lens to adjust to the humidity). Then some of aidan, then the both of them. I followed them at dropoff like a mamarazzi and went to both classes :) one day, they won't let me. so for now... i cherish this time.

sawyer was like "ok bye" with a quick kiss and hug. she was already working on her morning color page. aidan held my hand and rubbed my fingers as we walked to her classroom - she was excited, but nervous. sawyer doesn't look to the future as "what if" - aidan does. she is more cautious even though she is the one knew what to expect. luckily, they both said they had a great day.

i am so happy.

we started the day smoothly, with our new checklist for the morning - and everything got done without a fight. hopefully this can continue lol

after i got home from dropping A and S off, miller and reese were like "um. so. what do we do?" ;) as the two party starters were now gone for 8 hours! reese asked to pick up aidan a few times. they took early naps, we went to therapy for reese. we'll get in our groove, too.

aidan went to dance company practice today at 4pm. i made dinner and let the other 3 play. this has been a normal day... even when my idle mind goes crazy with worry. without many others to focus on, i stare at reese more often and wonder whats going on in her head. but in the end, i take heed on how amazing she acts. how she walked, with a regular ol' walker, by herself, from our master bedroom to the living room... how she lauuuughs and laughs all day...

our wedding anniversary was this wkend :) 6 years. busy years. loving and awesome years. thanks to a good friend to watch the girls - we went out to dinner and just... hung out. it was wonderful.

next on the docket - labs tomorrow, miller's 2x/week preschool starts next week, and reese's PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities -- she'd go in as "other health issues" and for 3 hours a day, she'd go to school! they would do her PT/OT/ST all there).

prayer requests - peace for me to chill out lol, reese's tumor to be shrinking, and for all of my kids to have an awesome and successful time at school. thanks all :)