before school ends.

Last August, I pleaded in prayer, with anticipation, with excitement, and with fear... I wrote an open letter to Reese's potential teachers and classmates to simply get out my emotions.

This year has superseded any expectations I may have had.

I asked you to be patient. And you were, you so were. You waited on Reese to answer questions, you gave her time to think. You helped her recall that piece of information that was back there somewhere - and if she couldn't you guided her toward the answer as seamlessly as you could. You watched her squeal with excitement when she understood something and immediately conjured up a plan to aide her with what she didn't.  She never felt rushed or as if anyone was frustrated with her. She took her time to learn and you gave her that time without hesitation. You are so patient.

I asked you to be safe. No one outside of our family is seen as a safer place than her teachers and friends at school. They are who she lists that she loves, they are who she trusts when I make decisions that may change that day's schedule. No one was ever threatening to Reese and she learned each rule and regulation of the classroom with nothing but smiles and hugs. You let her cuddle you each time that she asked - and I do know that sometimes she knew right when you might have needed it. You gave her jobs when she felt aimless, you gave her strength when she looked defeated. The trust she has does not falter - and along with that comes so much love.

I asked you to be kind. I could not have written a better end to a kindergarten story than the friends that Reese has made. No one saw her "bad arm" as a problem. No one cared about her teeth being gone - except that they wish that they had lost theirs, too. When Reese was gone for chemo at first, they worried - truly worried. Her friends get emotional when Reese is hurt. The kindness shown by 5 and 6 year olds outshines most adults that I know. They defended, they hugged, they cheered every.single small victory. They pushed her hair out of her face when it brushed over her eyes. They wrote her notes of love. Her friends think her AFO boots are cool and that her having a resource teacher for some pull-outs is jealousy worthy, for sure. She was never left out, lest another friend set them straight. She is wanted and needed and loved and she feels every bit of that.

I asked you to be diligent. I slightly chuckled at myself when I re-read this one as within the first weeks of school, I asked them to be LESS diligent since I was getting numerous calls because everyone wanted to keep me in the loop. She figured out the bathroom in no time and her playground aide was gone quickly. They even built a ramp for Reese to walk onto the playground with because the step was very large. Every detail was taken care of. If she was falling behind, we re-organized her services. If goals were passed, I got calls about adjusting those. The care taken for this year was so supremely planned that I was able to sit at home with my coffee and laptop and feel nothing but overwhelming peace.

I asked you to be you. And wow, did I get some amazing people in our lives. YOU were what made Reese succeed. YOU were what made her love school. YOU were who knew what to do in all situations because you are so wonderful at your job. Every day was a blessing to Reese and I hope that you learned just as much from her. She doesn't fully understand that next year means such big changes, but some of her friends will hopefully follow her to the next classroom adventure. Every new person she will meet will be trusted because YOU are handing her to them. I apologize if that seems overwhelming, but I don't think it will be a problem as I have seen the people she has met at this school. I have walked the halls with Reese Skelte and it is nothing short of a small celeb with high fives and hugs and waves. How did she get so lucky...

My 3 elementary aged kids know that they are so special to one another. Seeing each other at lunch, in the halls, wherever always brought a story home. "I saw Aidan today!!!" was worth hearing a thousand times. "Sawyer was in the library!!" was information I may have known, but still loved having repeated by an excited 5 year old.

Kindergarten was something I could not even picture happening 3 years ago. I couldn't imagine how this would even look like. I didn't want to even go there out of fear of "what if..." But now, every morning, we jam out to dance music, unload the huge van, and shake our booties while we give kisses before they cross to the school. Tomorrow is the last day of the year and I will likely cry for the opposite reasons that I did last August. How amazingly bittersweet.

eta: last day of school pics!!

and now to compare beginning of the year on the left - and end of year on the right!!

before school begins.

I have never walked this specific path before. I have taken kids to school on their first day of kindergarten and cried after drop off. I have been nervous for new adventures, but known in my heart they would love it. I have never had to navigate public school with a child who had special needs. Our time at Reese's last school was special bc the program was for children with disabilities. Now, that could mean in need of physical therapy, speech delayed, cognitively delayed, etc. Many types of needs and diagnoses could get you in to the program. Half of the day was inclusion into mainstream - and really, I thought the transition for me would be much easier than it is.

I am 3 weeks away from sending Reese into a classroom that is 100% mainstream. She is absolutely ready for this. She knows all of her letters, the sounds of letters, her numbers and how to add them. She is full of jokes and smiles, she can run around and play with her friends, and loves to be silly.

But here I am, writing an open letter, I suppose, to her teachers and friends. Friends that are yet too young to even read and teachers she may have in the immediate future, or years to come. And to all teachers and friends of those who have a new kid in class who is just has something extra special and different about them.

Be patient. It may take Reese an extra second to answer your question, but it's there. She just is too busy thinking about whether her answer is correct or not. Remind her that she does, in fact, know the answer so to just say it. Also, she may forget that same answer tomorrow, when you ask. She knows it, but just can't get to it as quickly. But man, oh man, she cannot wait to see your eyes light up when she gets the answers correct. If you don't understand something she says, try again later and you will. She has so much to say if you just wait for it.

Be safe. This is all overwhelming and new - just like it is for a lot of kindergartners, but for Reese, she doesn't really understand how new or different it is from previous years. School was a safe place for her. It was a place where all of her teachers are her best friends and her classmates are just like her. For her, kindergarten will be the same way, so please help her remember that it is, as always, the safest and best place to spend your day. Give a hug when she is sad, don't just give her the facts about me coming back at the end of the day. Help her up when she falls, instead of telling her to brush it off. Sometimes being a safety net is just as important to teaching those life lessons. She just wants a cuddle once in a while, but teaching her a lesson on getting out of your seat will break her spirit for a week. She is a rule follower and will never have her "name on the board" or "points taken away" or anything like that. She can't wait to help you, as soon as she trusts that you'll let her. That is what happens when kids spend a lot of time at the hospital, as they grow up - they have to learn to trust the people in the room are the ones that will keep her safe from harm.

Be kind. Reese's AFO boot is cheetah print. To all her classmates, "pretty cool, huh?" It helps her so her toe doesn't drop when she's trying to walk. She can't use her right hand that well, but "bad arm" is it's name and it does what it needs to do and learns more every day. Her front teeth are gone because some of her meds ruined them, but who wants to brush that many teeth anyway, right? ;) Reese's hair is short and awkward, sometimes, because this time last year, she was still basically bald. I knew she'd start kindergarten with a cute bob - and that is how it looks to be. She is just like YOU. She wants to play with you and make you laugh... even if she is the size of a 3 year old.

Be diligent. It takes Reese a few more mins to get things done in the bathroom. I will try to keep her in short dresses so that she doesn't have to deal with leggings often, but please keep an eye on how long she's been in there. It is possible that she's just trying to get her undies into the back of her leggings and "bad arm" is being a pain... maybe send a friend in to get her. She will have an aide on the playground, at first, to teach her the boundaries, but please try to remind her, in other locations, "step!" because she only has one eye to catch that drop. Eventually, she'll remember where all the steps are, but she just needs you to be her extra eye for a bit.

Be you. Reese cannot wait to get to know her new friends and teachers. Everything written up there, teachers already know and parents already try to teach their kids... but I still have to type it out before my emotions get the better of me. She loves so fiercely and I can't wait for her new school to get to know her like the last one did. I want to cry when she graduates kindergarten because I loved everyone so much. I want to miss her daily because she just loves school so much and cannot wait to go the next day. I would never tell someone how to do their job or be someone they are not, but it is important to help people know who Reese is, also. And she's just so many things that are worth waiting for.

The next few weeks will be for screeners, info meetings for GT and kindy, 504/IEP meetings for both S and R, back to school night, and more. Dentists appointments are made and they will have squeaky clean teeth. I have paid too much for new lunch boxes that my kids love, but that Reese can open easily. I need first day of school dresses, still, though, and that will be a task in itself. Reese moved into the pre-kindy class at church (by herself - she had been wanting to stay w Miller, each week) so that she is in a group of her peers and it has been fabulous "practice" being w kids that may be in her classes.

Her MRI results yesterday said "stable" except for a small debate over something like 1mm of possible growth that they don't even really call growth. All of that to say that we are status quo on chemo right now. We will re-work our schedule to going to chemo on monday afternoons between the end of the school day and 5:30 dance class. Once a month she will have to miss the day for an appointment downtown, but other than that, she's all yours, kindergarten. She doesn't have low counts, doesn't have hospital stays, usually. So, normal.

I wish that I could tell every teacher something special about each of my elementary aged children. I wish Aidan's teacher knew that she was sometimes too shy to be overly confident, but that she will knock your socks off with her brain. Sawyer's teacher needs to know how absolutely special it is to have such a unique kid around who wants to learn so badly, but just needs a bit of help along the way.

...and at any point in time, remember that they have, and truly need, each other. They are going to want to wave to each other, if not hug each other, in the hall if they pass on opposite lunch schedules. They are going to want to sit by each other in bus or car line. All 3 of the elementary aged Skelte girls are a team... a team with their littles, at home, who they'll talk about throughout the day or write about in their daily musings.

Next stop... kindergarten.

FDOS 2013 - Aidan and Sawyer

1st grade and Kindergarten.

whoa.

I don't really understand when this happened. i see my kids at certain ages - aidan will always be 5 to me. sawyer 3. they don't act that age - its just what i want to say when people ask. maybe its my favorite ages? it will obviously change as they grow up... but this?! THIS is old. two kids in elem is big time, guys.

I took a few pics of sawyer (some while waiting for my lens to adjust to the humidity). Then some of aidan, then the both of them. I followed them at dropoff like a mamarazzi and went to both classes :) one day, they won't let me. so for now... i cherish this time.

sawyer was like "ok bye" with a quick kiss and hug. she was already working on her morning color page. aidan held my hand and rubbed my fingers as we walked to her classroom - she was excited, but nervous. sawyer doesn't look to the future as "what if" - aidan does. she is more cautious even though she is the one knew what to expect. luckily, they both said they had a great day.

i am so happy.

we started the day smoothly, with our new checklist for the morning - and everything got done without a fight. hopefully this can continue lol

after i got home from dropping A and S off, miller and reese were like "um. so. what do we do?" ;) as the two party starters were now gone for 8 hours! reese asked to pick up aidan a few times. they took early naps, we went to therapy for reese. we'll get in our groove, too.

aidan went to dance company practice today at 4pm. i made dinner and let the other 3 play. this has been a normal day... even when my idle mind goes crazy with worry. without many others to focus on, i stare at reese more often and wonder whats going on in her head. but in the end, i take heed on how amazing she acts. how she walked, with a regular ol' walker, by herself, from our master bedroom to the living room... how she lauuuughs and laughs all day...

our wedding anniversary was this wkend :) 6 years. busy years. loving and awesome years. thanks to a good friend to watch the girls - we went out to dinner and just... hung out. it was wonderful.

next on the docket - labs tomorrow, miller's 2x/week preschool starts next week, and reese's PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities -- she'd go in as "other health issues" and for 3 hours a day, she'd go to school! they would do her PT/OT/ST all there).

prayer requests - peace for me to chill out lol, reese's tumor to be shrinking, and for all of my kids to have an awesome and successful time at school. thanks all :)