birthday back up.

I feel like I am overwhelmed with the things I want to say about my oldest and my youngest having their birthdays this past december.

becoming a mother was all I ever wanted to do. aidan completed me. completes me. she "gets" me, in every which way. at only 8, she is someone that understands any look i give, she reads in between the lines, and her heart was built like mine: sensitive, emotional, sentimental...

when we were moving clothes, recently, from reese's room to miller's, she asked what happens when, then, its passed to corbin. after corbin, what happens?

we just sort of stared at each other. 

corbin is the exclamation point on the skelte family. she is funny and sneaky. and does things on purpose. she steals her sisters things and randomly will laugh. she is a lovey who will lay her head down on anyone around. she cruises confidently and is starting to stand. she will walk soon and then i'll cry. 

because, truly, she is our last. 

i told aidan "well, i don't know..." and she said "i guess i will have to save them for my kids..." and i smiled knowing that God gave me the perfect first born. 

each of my children have a special place in my heart. they each have something that makes me see myself in them. each one knows how to push my buttons in a different way. and each one loves in a spectacular way, unlike the other. 

but aidan being 8. and corbin turning 1. well, it just sort of solidified a new stage in our lives. a stage i am and am not ready for at the same time. but it is what it is. and i can't make babies forever. lol

let me dote, for a second. 

aidan is in 2nd grade. she is friendly. she is loving. she is smart. she is GT at her school and going to that class is her favorite time. she loves to read and science. she loves american girl dolls and still cuddles her "scooze dog" at night. she takes things seriously and you need to be careful with jokes. she has a snippy attitude sometimes that comes out of no where, but within minutes, she is apologizing because she is worried that she hurt your feelings. she worries about reese. she protects sawyer. she gets into trouble with miller. and hover-mothers corbin. "are you the mom, aidan?" she naturally protects and she loves with her whole heart. she can't leave for school without a kiss and a hug. she is talented at most things she does. she is an amazing dancer and i watch her with awe. but she's shy and not confident. she plays with her hands when she's nervous. she is so silly with her family and her friends love her because of those same silly quirks. she is a pre-pre-teen who teeters between knowing friends don't hurt feelings, but wanting everyone to like her. she is surrounded by friends, but still sometimes misses her old school. she yells for alone time, but never really takes it when the opportunity arises. she is my sweet baby, my first born. my heart.

ooooh corbin. now that she is one, she crawls around this house, like a boss. she tries to find naughty things, but immediately hands them over when you say her name. she is the first kid to throw things in my toilet. she could eat all day and hollers "mmmmmMORE" when her tray is empty. she kisses on the lips and lays her face on your face. she still breastfeeds randomly, but thats the last bit of baby i have from her. with cruising and standing - soon she'll be walking. and then i won't be a mother of a baby, but of a toddler. she loves me. truly i am her favorite person on earth. as it should be. and i love her. she makes me giggle with her own belly laughs. she makes sneaky faces when she knows she is in the wrong and is proud of her trouble making tendencies. she will give me a run for my money. oh baby 5, you are perfect. .

we are so blessed. with these 2 lovelies on the end and the amazing 3 in between them, i am out of words, really.

happy birthday corbin. happy birthday aidan. sorry this post is so late - i could blame it on 100 things, but all that matters is that you know that i. love. you.

corbin rose.

i had some "fifth element" joke as my title, originally, but then changed my mind ;)

corbin is here. all 6lbs 15oz and 19.25" of her. a pint sized little cuddle bug.

she came into the world just looking around, like aidan did, barely fussing at all.

so we had made it. made it to HOME after reese was sick. made it through xmas.

and now i had a dr appointment on dec 26. i was miserable. last week, i wasnt dilated at all. zip. and then this week i was about 3-4cm. i was contracting, enough for me to do something in a week, i guess.  my dr was leaving town on friday and said i could go over to the hospital and see if i was doing anything worth monitoring. and if we needed to move things along, we could.

so i texted EJ "now or never." lol

i had reese and aidan with me at the dr, but took aidan to my parents house. ej grabbed reese's next IV meds, clothes, necessities, and met me in our room. reese was so ready ;) then she took a nap LOL

they watched me have ctx on my own (and sometimes lack there of) and started me on fluids and said at about 3pm, we could start the pit, if i wanted. which i did. lol

reese and i shared an IV pole, mid afternoon.



we played and hung out. ej ate in front of me and reese stole his diet coke to taunt me with. lol


i got an epidural around, oh, 430pm? and then they were going to break my water. but when they checked me at 5pm or so - corbin's hand was on TOP of her head. lol so we had to wait til she moved it. they finally were able to break my water at about 6pm and i was 5-6cm. so not much movement. which isnt weird for me as i move fast at the end.

which this time was no different.

by 7pm i texted friends saying "holy shit i need more epi". the pressure was 0_o … omg… i hadnt really felt that kind of pressure with my other kids. they gave me a bit more epi meds to last me, but it went too fast after that.


reese was there the whole time just hanging out, chatting, meowing at nurses, demanding more food, and not really understanding what was going on, but she sure was excited when corbin got here.

i pushed one big push, got her head out, they had me stop bc there was a bit of a cord wrap, and then after that - out she came at 7:22pm!


it was all a bit different bc reese was there. its too much to have someone else do her IV meds, etc (which, btw, were due at 7:30pm) - so ej had prepped all that prior and was able to hook it up in no time while everyone was hustling around. it settled down quickly and it was just us in the room -- cuddling and introducing ourselves.




reese went to sleep soon after this, until we moved to a post partum room at about, oh, 10pm? and then ej left with her to get some sleep before the 3am med wake up.

and i was left for my favorite moments of life. just me and my baby. right after birth. when no one is around to chat or ask questions or poke and prod. just staring and smelling and feeding… sigh. i would seriously do the 24 hours of delivery/birth/after every single day of my life.



the next morning, ej got up early to run to get reese's port swapped out (it had been a week) and i waited for my parents to bring the other girls up to meet their newest sister.




and they were in love. just as i knew they would be. it was so amazing to see, again, another sister be added to their troop with ease. they cuddled. they hushed. they rubbed. just so enamored.



and miller. omg miller. i have a vid on IG (punkfictionv4) of her not wanting to give corbin back to me - and that still stands. "i ho'd her!!!" she just wants to have her in her lap at any time. i was curious if she'd be jealous, but it seems as if she has taken on the sister role as well as the others have -- but i knew, as i watch her with reese day to day, that she was that way. she may be a spitfire of the highest order, but she is a caretaker.



then reese came back to hang out again. with her heart on her hand… waiting… as she had told me for months that THAT is where corbin would sleep. "on my heart…"





she looks like reese with her eyes closed, but has miller's eyes (lack of eyelid on top lol - like ej, too). but my oh my what a perfect mix.


i am out of words on what to say about this week. i came home on saturday to normal life. our normal. our perfectly out of sorts and unscheduled normal. the kind of normal that took months to get used to. the same kind that i dont wish on other people, but was our lot in life. the kind of normal that makes me cry with tears of love and hope… worry and fear. i embrace it now, every day. and with corbin here, it all seems perfect. there are only wonderful things ahead - through valleys and mountains - the seven of us, surrounded by amazing friends, family, and prayers, will do it together.