sunny days.

the other day was gorgeous. like 75 degrees outside. we played on bikes, roller skates, and scooters. we started putting up christmas lights and finished winterizing our flowerbeds. i put a blanket on the grass for the kids to watch EJ rake leaves.

i laid with miller for a while looking at the sky. she was finding animals in the clouds. "thats an elephant stompin'!!" eventually reese came over, laid down, and wanted to know what we were looking at. she found the moon in the still-bright sky.

saturday aidan, sawyer, and reese all danced with our studio in the downtown mckinney home for the holidays celebration. it was so fun to watch them all :) aidan is so talented. i may be a bias mother, but i think she's just so wonderful to watch. sawyer has so much spunk while she dances - you can see it all over her face the whole time. reese melted us all as she did her dance w her friends. her first performance. i brought her out after she danced and walked her in front of our family in friends who all clapped for her once more. then we watched "the sisters" do their dances and i swooned over my own children again.



we walked around downtown trying to find a place to eat with no luck on sitting down as a family of 7, unless we wanted to wait over an hour. so we grabbed a pizza from a shop down there and sat at the tables they had all over the square.



the week itself has been pretty normal. endo appt for reese, dance classes for all. tonight EJ took aidan and sawyer to the daddy/daughter movie date night at the school. they are, of course, playing frozen - something that started out as a blanket and PJ party apparently turned into a dance party within mins of the opening songs.

so i put corbin to bed and then set miller and reese up in the media room to do the same thing.

cuddle and watch frozen.



even if it turned out the same way - with dancing and singing ;)



we are approaching her MRI date quickly (the 15th). the next week is filled with things to do. normal things. school and dance and fun. on friday the 12th, EJ and i are live interviewing for the children's radiothon and i am SO EXCITED and so nervous at the same time. then the countdown to that monday will come - i will repeat to myself close to a thousand times that "worrying does nothing. it helps nothing. it only steals the good moments." and i will pray for another stable scan. that MRI will take us through the holidays, through all of winter. after this scan (hopefully.) says stable - that will be 8mo off of chemo. it is the first MRI after her port was taken out. it just seems so... big.

but my fluffy headed smoocher is doing so well. she walks with such purpose - even trying to run. she uses "bad arm" and loves to show me how big she can make sure hand and then how quickly she can open and shut it. she is stubborn and funny. "i need you. i need a hug." can turn any day into an amazing one. she talks so much (at all hours of the day - even the middle of the night! lol) and its so fun to watch her be her.

this wkend, if there is good weather, we will finish our outdoor xmas lights :) we have 2 parties to go to for friends of aidan. we have christmas shopping to do. we have craft making and cooking to do.

and cuddling. and looking at the clouds to find more animals.

finishing up and starting again.

i feel like i havent written in so long. the end of the school year is filled with so much that i have great intentions and then, life takes me away somewhere else.

we had recital, first. another year done. aidan was in 6 dances and sawyer in 2. (they were in one together). i just love watching them both. they make my heart swell with pride. so beaut

then it was the end of school week. where my mind *almost* exploded, but a few awesome people saved my sanity. in the pics, you can see the ones where i compare from the beginning of the school year. and omg ::cuethetears:: wow. aidan and sawyer have grown up so much. we went to their school parties - where everyone, of course, loves the bald sister ;) we are going to miss this school next year. :( so many friends -- and so much love. just… so many people who truly care about our family. we have been so blessed for the past 2 years. since we moved, we are at a new elem school - and i have high hopes that their new school is just as great.





today, though. sigh.

today was miller and reese's first dance class. i tried to get photos of them altogether. i, also, tried to get pics of reese alone in her outfit, but no. ;) i watched from outside the metal blinds. i watched miller giggle. i watch reese walk around in a circle singing ring around the rosey. i watched miller get excited about the music. and then watched reese stand up, on her own, against the wall, with the other kids.

miller ran out and gave me a huge hug. reese scooted on over with the biggest smile on her face. these are the moments… these are what get me to the next day.




next week reese has an MRI. on tuesday. i am, as always, caught between being so scared, knowing that something could be wrong. something could show up, grow, ruin our lives. and then knowing there's nothing i can do either way. that she is so happy. so so happy. that she jokes and talks and kisses. that she cuddles and fights with her sisters. that she is sneaky and… happy. and that there is no reason to believe something is wrong inside that gorgeous head.

a head that has hair growing back. a halo of white. there is a pattern of growth on her head - as it gets longer, it looks a bit darker. i rub my hands, my face, on it all day. i love it. she loves it. "my hair come back!!" she says. i carry around her 10lb lunchboxes full of tape measures and noodles. and cell phones. and other things. and relish in her surprise kisses on my cheek. her thankful nose kisses when i get her a drink at nighttime.

all of it.

so another school year has ended. another dance recital has passed. summer activities have already begun. and this is how i hope it stays. forever.

please pray for awesome MRI results next week. i want to continue to live life the way we are right now - by watching hair grow.

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