ice day number 1.

number 1 because there's another ice day/no school tomorrow.

oh yay. that was sarcasm, btw.

it is hard to be at home all day with not a lot of fresh air lol the kids are "go outside and play" kids. they like that. today was not a day like that. it was a "don't be TOO loud bc EJ is on calls in the office because he can't drive either, omg stop taking out so many things at one time, no don't eat that, didn't i say to clean this up, IT IS NAPTIME, omg why isn't she sleeping...." kind of day.

and another one tomorrow!!

we did paint. we did do a lot of laundry. some fell asleep on the floor. we ate good food. so it wasn't a total loss. just long. and tiring. and i need more wine ;)

chemo bumped to wednesday for weather. next week, then, we have an appointment/physical downtown in the early morning, then chemo, and then check in for MRI that is at 12:45. it'll be a good time to keep food away from her for that long. that was sarcasm, again, by the way.

I don't feel really blog'like today. lol not very chatty. so I'll let some photos that I haven't posted, recently.

(I do want to update on Aidan's dance comp this past weekend (pic below) - they had 3 dances and got 4th, 3rd, and 2nd place for them! :D way to go dancer strong!)



I posted those last pics on my biz blog if you want to read my post on that.

praying for an awesome MRI. every day.

IG: theskelteseven

pre-thanksgiving.

It has been too long since I have blogged. Fall photography gets me buried on my computer under other people's families and not my own. which is okay. It all ends this wkend and I will be able to bother my own kids with the camera more.

Things are going as they should be. My anxiety is on high alert as we count down to dec 15th - reese's MRI. that is a monday. we dont want them to call us at all. our appointment to "talk about the MRI" is thursday. kids who are not on high alert anymore have to wait, i guess, for info. but, of course, if something was wrong, then they'd tell us immediately. i will barely eat those few days, but in the end, i pray that we have a huge celebratory "8 months out of chemo and still stable!" dinner.

reese turned 4.5. which is so old, really. because its close to 5 and that is really old.

 

she is only months away from kindergarten round up, her final ARD, summer vacation... and then going to elementary school. i always had this picture in my head of reese heading off with her sisters to school. all 3 so close in grades - k, 2, 3. all reese wants to do is ride the bus home. yeah, we'll see if i unclench that much. ha. she's too tiny. but i guess thats what big sisters are for - to protect.

sawyer lost her first tooth. which really needed to happen because the other tooth was coming in behind it 0_o she was so excited. she wiggled it for weeks before finally coming home with that tooth in an envelope.

 
she got $5. it was that or a twenty and i dont think the tooth fairy is that rich lol

since the bigs go to school every day (and reese doesn't miss like she did so much last year), its been really nice to just hang out with miller. she's so funny. and sweet. and cuddly. and rude. and bossy. but still funny. she spends most of her days at home in PJs. and the other days at school in her bear slippers. because miller doesn't care. she's so cool.

 
 we had reese in the ER for a constant fever (rhinovirus, luckily). miller got pneumonia. sawyer had strep. this was of course after the pukes for everyone at the beginning of the month. sigh.



we had a big fun project to do with aidan for her "living museum" at school (about ohio! yay! lol). we've had a ton of dance practice for the downtown christmas holiday show that aidan, sawyer, and reese are dancing in this wkend.



things are as they are supposed to be, i guess. it is funny - i emailed about the ccbd (center for cancer and blood disorders)'s big xmas party. we didnt go last year because reese had meningitis and so this year i wanted to plan ahead. but she doesn't qualify. which is totally fine, but it was so strange. she is not on treatment and its for kids on treatment. ok. i sat there reading it feeling both totally blessed and scared to be in that position again. i am not removed from "them". i am not removed from children who are in treatment - honestly, on certain oncology pages, i have to remind myself that we aren't on treatment.

i watch reese's hair grow. she got a new AFO boot and i watch her walk so well with that. reese is getting such a funny personality and watching her be who she was always supposed to be is amazing. corbin is growing up and becoming a part of the party. she is funny and naughty. and giggling. and fat and happy. miller wanting to be a big girl and the big girls being too old. sawyer is growing out of that little girl and into 6. it suits her, but its strange. aidan is turning 8 in a few weeks and i see the preteen coming. its horrible and awesome at the same time.


i am thankful for so many people. people who take time of their day to remind me that they are still praying. it brings me to tears. i am thankful that i meet people who have no idea why reese has a mohawk - not because i dont want to talk about it, because i do. and i always will - having a brain tumor usually comes up within a few mins of chatting, but just that they think she's totally okay. i am thankful for my family, for my friends. i am thankful that i am not angry. that i understand that no matter what her brain tumor took away, every day is a day we take back. she takes it back so fiercely. and for that, i am eternally thankful.

have an amazing thanksgiving. spend it hugging those who you love.

2 weeks.

i feel like time is flying by me. its insane.

i am stuck between so many things. i want time to go slowly, to have corbin be a newborn for a bit longer. i want it to be in the future where reese is healed and our "normal" is much more boring than it is now. i want march to never come bc i dont want this [working] chemo to end. i want corbin to grow up and play and interact with her sisters. 

so instead, i just… live, i guess. day to day. hour by hour, really. each day ends with us in bed with reese. sometimes i get into bed and she's zonked out completely. sometimes she barely wakes up and smiles and rubs my face and cuddles up. each night is interrupted by a hungry reese or corbin. each morning starts off, now, with me sneaking to the living room to feed corbin before the ruckus of the day begins.

now i have a 2 week old. 

last week, corbin was 6lbs 9oz, which was 3oz up from when we left the hospital. she sleeps amazingly well. generally wakes up every 4-5 hours at night, but ive had a couple nights of 11pm, 5am, 830am. all of that said, thats if she's co-sleeping with me. as of last night, i cut that out and got a rock n play. she slept horribly in the pack n play, but i knew the way the RNP was built, she'd love it. and she did. we'll see how tonight goes. 

she eats every 3-4 hours during the day - sometimes more of a cluster during the evenings. my boobs hurt unbelievably but im trucking on through bc i know in the end ill be happy that i did. 

so now ill just catch up on CR photos :) from one week and today. im pretty sure youll see that today she and miller had a fabulous time…

and that miller is a huge ham who is also growing up right before my dang eyes. and i cant stop it. but i love it, anyway.





i am so blessed :)

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