the summer is beginning to end.

its august. its hot - although not as hot as it usually is this time of year. my kids are sort of… over my face. we try to go to the gym in the mornings. if i can't get everyone ready in time for the 8:45 or 9am class, here we stay. i don't like driving around for no reason with all 5. its such a huge ordeal to get them in and out that i just... would rather sit in my PJs some days.  plus, dance is in the afternoons so we play, eat, nap, and go, generally.

the house gets so messy. toys come out that i haven't seen in months. yesterday, they brought a ridiculous amount of baby stuff downstairs. and carts. and "got in the car" and "went to the store". it was fun to listen to them.



i put them in the bath to waste time. or the sink. reese loves sink bubbles. today i had to hose corbin down after she ate and then i tossed reese in. so worth it.



they play dress up. they make each other laugh. or cry. or yell. or kiss and hug. and all of those emotions in a 30 second span.

sawyer had a fever last night and all day today. up to 102 or so. tonight the same. reese has been cranky and has a canker sore and i wonder if she is going to get sick.

i have been so good lately. its middle of august, 1 month until our next MRI, almost exactly. and i have been super confident. i watch reese show everyone how amazingly she opens her bad arm. i watch her walk everywhere. its amazing. she talks more. understand jokes and tells them. she knows so many numbers and letters - a place where i thought she'd be behind for kindergarten next year - i think she'll be right on track. her hair so soft and fluffy. growing back right over the scars.

but then i make things up, of course. "she looks fatter" - well, she is. lol she is bigger. she has gained weight and a smidgen of height. i imagine since chemo is over, she'll grow to be the size of a normal 4 year old haha she's still pounds and inches less than aidan was (similar body type as a toddler) at the same age. i worry about sleep. "oh she didnt sleep well last night" and then she's tired the next day. not too tired - normal tired. but then i think "wait she slept too well last night" blah blah. its a cycle of crazy. and then when another kid is sick? its hard to say to myself that there's even a possibility that anything reese does is because she, too, may feel crappy.

because it always has to be about the tumor.

but then i look at photos like this. or my random daily IG posts (punkfictionv4) and know that everything is okay right now. we are happy.

school starts on the 25th. next week is filled with meet the teacher nights and back to school shopping for things i couldn't find yet.

aidan is a bit nervous, but so excited. sawyer is beyond ready. reese cannot wait to see her teachers again. miller is giggly to see her friends. and corbin, well, she's happy with me ;)

prayers that we stay healthy, please. and that every day only feels better than the one before.

i'd call that busy.

oh man. last wkend was a busy one.

i should backtrack, first, and show you these adorable pics of reese and miller in our old bathtub. because at the end of the blog, we'll come full circle in the new one ;)

so. we moved. last week we spent tuesday/wednesday getting the house painted and clean. thursday moving, friday moving, sunday morning moving. (yes we hired movers on saturday, but EJ got a TON done on thursday and sunday - keeping that ridiculous mover cost per hour, down).


and in between that - from friday night to saturday night - aidan had dance competition.

i took corbin. who was an angel, of course, with us. we checked in friday night and had to wake up saturday morning at about 6am to be downstairs by 7:30am to start the convention classes. competition started at 330pm or so. aidan had 2 dances - one sweet lyrical and then a sassy dance :) they did awesome. i am so proud of them.



this week, we've stayed up late unpacking, organizing, writing lists of things we need. hanging up clothes that didnt make it on a hanger. tossing MORE things into the donation pile...

but on monday, i learned something new about this house - when i heard WATER running in my bathroom.

"we wan' baff!!!"

and they had already started the process. (luckily its high lol they cant climb in, but geez, now we've blocked it off lol)




THEN we had chemo, this week. we went in tues afternoon, hung out with other little bald friends, and left wednesday morning. reese was a BEAR tuesday morning - and were told she had a double ear infection. luckily, we were there to get abx (and she's on them til mid feb). on thursday morning, we had to go into legacy to get a "quick" infusion of the second etop/vp16 dose. i took miller with us at first. ummm... it was not quick. my dad came and picked up miller before she exploded with "omg its naptime" -itis. lol

as an update, the oncs did talk about the last MRI (which we didnt get a call about) - it looked great! all the "ribbons" were gone and tumor just keeps looking smaller.

i had a few people ask me about the end of chemo - and i just wanted to touch on that a bit. march (maybe 1st wk of april) is her last chemo... for now. so what happens is we have an MRI in april (as already scheduled). that will be her baseline of "seeing how it looks" 3 months later. IDEALLY, whatever is left is just brain tissue scarring. and that in, then, july, nothing has changed. and then that nothing continues to change FOREVERRRR. :)

if something does change, for the worse, then we will deal with it then. if we see anything out of the ordinary at any time, we'll move the MRI up. but for now, we're praying that i can work up the courage to feel *happy* about chemo ending. and that God, alone, without chemo, will protect that head of hers from here on out. so that is my prayer request.

other than that, im going to try to plan ahead... instead of planning only for now. there's a lot of future of ahead of us.

(follow us on IG: punkfictionv4)